Sad day

I've been a little bit depressed lately, with all the school stuff especially. It is killing me slowly but surely.. I know that it has to be done somehow, but I just can't change my attitude. I need to be much much better than I am now if I want to succeed. I need to improve myself, constantly. I think that I need to be grateful for what I am now right? Because I am a big, big, believer of the law of the universe. I believe in karma, I believe if you do good deeds, someday it will all come back to you. I believe of the power of positive thinking, I do believe everything is possible. There is no limitation to what a man can achieve in this world.

It was a shock to me that the LPTUI's result was way beyond my expectations. first of all, they suggested me to go to MIPA major which was -> Matematika Ilmu Pengetahuan Alam. Oh come on, seriously? I want to take business so bad. I want to make my own business from zero into something big. I know that I'm not good at communication with people, I know I am being really awkward with strangers, but I know this is what I want. (after MIPA they suggested me to go to visual arts, or teknik)

Disappointment, story of my life. Again I am being disappointed by the scores, teachers, friends, people, and everything. On the bright side.... I am still alive and well. Alhamdulillah :)

They love to tell you, "stay inside the lines"

Outside, it is raining hard and you can hear the thunder occasionally.

I have tons and tons of stuff to do right now, but my mind is somewhere else. It has been an intense senior week. studying my ass off on something that is not important, I hope I can achieve it. Doubts are starting to pop up in my brain, but I still want the best. Trying to catch up with the other peeps and so on. Pray for me and I'll be praying for you too. I hope you are happy. At least try to. I know you, I know you can :)


All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost…

The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.

Fables and Reflections, Neil Gaiman

I hated labels anyway. People didn’t fit in slots—prostitute, housewife, saint—like sorting the mail. We were so mutable, fluid with fear and desire, ideals and angles, changeable as water.

White Oleander, Janet Fitch

I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.

The Kindly Ones, Neil Gaiman

I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget.

Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett

The trouble with my generation is that we all think we’re fucking geniuses. Making something isn’t good enough for us, and neither is selling something, or teaching something, or even just doing something; we have to be something.

A Long Way Down, Nick Hornby

What if she was meant to be, or could have been, someone important in my life? I think that’s what scares me: the randomness of everything. That the people who could be important to you might just pass you by. Or you pass them by. How do you know…I felt that by walking away I was abandoning [them], that I spent my entire life, day after day, abandoning people.

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You, Peter Cameron

I always think of each night as a song. Or each moment as a song. But now I’m seeing we don’t live in a single song. We move from song to song, from lyric to lyric, from chord to chord. There is no ending here. It’s an infinite playlist.

Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, David Levithan

See, the poor dream all their lives of getting enough to eat and looking like the rich. And what do the rich dream of? Losing weight and looking like the poor.

The White Tiger, Aravind Adiga


pray for me for 12 October 2010.