fantasy

in the midst of this craziness living in a city which is so crowded, and very noisy.. sometimes I dreamed about living in a peaceful countryside near the hills where everything is quieter. When I was small I imagine myself living in a harvest moon world where you can plant crops and sell it for a living.. and you get married, have children, happily ever after. I can play harmonica all day and write songs maybe write some novels, and pretend I didn't hear about the politics, global warming, or the apocalypse. whatever. you are not obliged to do anything except enjoying the nature.

okay it's too cheesy.

alright, maybe the great magician Howl can find me and we'll be married and happily living in a moving castle.

okay, stop.

behind the ambitious me, sometimes, I need a break. we all do.

Don't Betray Your Dreams

here is the good news: I got accepted at SBM ITB through snmptn jalur undangan!

I will study business and management there! I am really thankful to Allah.. I don't even have to do any test, can you believe that? I only had to fill in some information through web.. and simsalabim "Selamat, anda lulus seleksi!" Until now I still can't believe it.. there are people who I believe have better score than me.. part of me says that I don't deserve this.. for all my life I always be a so-so kind of girl, but now I got accepted at the most known university in Indonesia. I don't know if I'm ready for it, but I will try my best.

Some people say that this school is only famous because its name, but for me it's not the university that matter, it's the major I took. I like business since my best friend introduced it to me two years ago.. This is the path I've chosen, and I'm not going to fail it.

some people underestimated me (and sometimes I feel like kicking their face and slapping their face and probably pushing them to the sewer and pretend nothing ever happened) but I will do my best. I promise, I will do my best. whatever happens on this god knows what university I have to finish it. Of course I am scared like hell.. I am scared but what the hell. New city, new friends, everything.. I will be brave.

For the rest of my friends.. I hope they can achieve their dreams, keep your eyes on the goal fellas! I wish you the best and may Allah be with you in every step you take and every decision you make.. :)

honestly,

Do you ever feel so.. grateful.. suddenly? well, I feel it now. This is the kind of moment where you know you are so blessed that you can't even complain anymore.. I am surrounded by the most incredible people ever that a girl could ask. They are the most accepting, honest, reliable friends that a human could wish for. I am honestly, not a very sociable person, I can't talk casually to people, I tend to be very awkward.. or so I say. whenever I start or try talking to someone it becomes.... hash tag, awkward moment. BUT my friends always compromise my flaws, they are really caring and understands me completely. come on, who could ask for more?

Now I'm preparing for the state university passing exam.. state university is really famous and everyone (no, I'm not kidding) mostly everyone would do everything to get in there. So, all the tests and try outs has been given and we are currently trying our best. There are some concerns in my head though.. how can you know what to learn when there are so many possibilities of the upcoming question? for example, chemistry, there are a lot of variations to the questions.. even though we have done thousands of practice.. there will still be variations of the question and I'm not expecting an easy one. In the end it will be just you, your test paper, and your guts. only God knows who will get in.